Monday, November 30, 2009

ઘડ્વૈયા મારે NRI નથી થાવું

પશુઓના ડોક્ટર પાસે એક માણસ એક વાર ગયો .
દર્દી : હું એક મહીનાની વેકેશન પર આવ્યો છું અને મારે મારી બરાબર સારવાર કરાવવી છે .
ડોક્ટર: તમારે સામેના ડોક્ટર પાસે જવું જોઇએ . હું તો પશુઓનો ડોક્ટર છું .
દર્દી : ના હું તમારી પાસે આવ્યો છું , તે બરાબર છે .
ડોક્ટર: અરે , ભાઇ તમે તો માણસ જેવા લાગો છો . છતાં કેમ આમ બોલો છો ?
દર્દી : હું કુતરાની જેમ આખી રાત મારા કામના ઢસરડાને યાદ કરીને જાગું છું .
ઘોડાની જેમ સવારે વહેલો ઉઠી જાઉં છું .
હરણની જેમ જોબ પર જવા દોડું છું .
આખો દીવસ ગધેડાની જેમ કામ કરું છું .
વરસના બારે મહીના ઘાંચીના બળદની જેમ ગોળ ગોળ ફર્યા કરું છું .
મારા બોસની આગળ પુંછડી પટપટાવું છું .
મારા બાળકોની સામે વાંદરાની જેમ નાચું છું .
મારી બૈરી આગળ સસલા જેવો નરમ ઘેંશ થઇ જાઉં છું .
ડોક્ટર : અરે ! તમે અમેરીકામાં કામ કરો છો ?
દર્દી: હા જ તો વળી .
ડોક્ટર : આ પહેલેથી કહેવું જોઇએને ? ચાલો કહો , તમારે શી તકલીફ છે ? મારા સીવાય બીજું કોઇ તમારી સારવાર કરી નહીં શકે.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

INDIAN MEDIA HEADLINES DATED 1ST JAN 2025

* President Sonia Gandhi and Prime Minister Priyanka Gandhi receive Italian Prime Minister Rahul Gandhi !!
* Dhoom - 17 ready for release . . . !

* I will play next world cup - Sachin Tendulkar

* Salman, Vivek and Abhishek attend Aishwarya's 3rd marriage.

* Mein to ab bhi jawan hoon - Dev Anand's new movie set for release where he plays son of Aamir Khan & Madhuri Dixit.

* After remakes of 45 films of Amitabh, Shahrukh now to play Amitabh's role in remake of "Jhoom Barabar Jhoom".

* Amitabh's new movie with Shahrukh Khan's daughter "Ek aur Nishabdh"

* Petrol Rs 999 / ltr.

* Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi completed 2, 50,000 episodes & Baa has completed 400 yrs.

* Coach Dravid resigns, as India went out of The World Cup in 1st round after losing to Korea .

* N.Siddhu will launch his own TV channel where he is the Host & the Guest too.

* Riots in the Parliament as the newly elected MPs Mallika Sheravat & Rakhi Sawant enter the assembly.

* Maruti launches its new Hovercraft "SX-25". Honda, Toyota & Tata to follow.

* A cap found in Mithi River - Sources say it belonged to a species called Himesh Reshammiya.
[for fun from my mails]

Magic Gopher- Amazing

http://www.britishcouncil.org/learnenglish-central-games-magic-gopher.htm

Contrary Proverbs

All good things come to those who wait.
BUT
Time and tide wait for no man.

The pen is mightier than the sword.
BUT
Actions speak louder than words.

Wise men think alike.
BUT
Fools seldom differ.

The best things in life are free.
BUT
There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Slow and steady wins the race ..
BUT
Time waits for no man ..

Look before you leap .
BUT
Strike while the iron is hot ..

Do it well, or not at all.
BUT
Half a loaf is better than none.

Birds of a feather flock together.
BUT
Opposites attract.

Don't cross your bridges before you come to them.
BUT
Forewarned is forearmed.

Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.
BUT
Faith will move mountains.

Great starts make great finishes.
BUT
It ain't over 'till it's over.

Practice makes perfect.
BUT
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Silence is golden.
BUT
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

You're never too old to learn.
BUT
You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
BUT
One man's meat is another man's poison.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
BUT
Out of sight, out of mind.

Too many cooks spoil the broth.
BUT
Many hands make light work.

Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.
BUT
Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.

Think man Think

When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?

The average man's life consists of :
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering too.

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner,barely missing him. The man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered."Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including priest started laughing.......... but not the poor groom!

Mobile Emergency

(1) Imagine your mobile battery is very low, you are expecting an important Call and you don't have a charger. Nokia instrument comes with reserve Battery. To activate, key is *3370# your mobile will restart with this Reserve and your instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This Reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.

(2) The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112 . If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you.

Interestingly , this number 112 can be dialed even while the keypad is locked. Try it out!

Similarities between Lincoln and Kennedy

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Type anything in that book, it will reply

Type anything in that book, it will reply .
Visit the link - http://pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=c96f911b3e35f9e1

Type on the right side where you can see the cursor .Make sure you type the correct words and do not make spelling mistakes...

Eat Fresh Fruits*


We all think eating fruits means simply buying fruit, cutting it and just popping it into our mouths. You will benefit much more if you know how and when to eat.

Fruits should be taken in an empty stomach… not as dessert after the meal as is often done. If you eat fruit like that, it will also serve a major role to detoxify your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.
 
Let's say you eat two slices of bread and then a slice of fruit. As fruit digests faster than bread, the slice of fruit digests quickly and is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but its passage is blocked by the bread which takes longer to digest…
…In the meantime the whole meal ferments and turns to acid. Consequently, when the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil.
 
So it is better to eat your fruits in an empty stomach or before your meals! You have heard people complaining – every time I eat water-melon I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats up, when I eat banana I feel like running to the toilet etc – actually all this will not arise if you eat the fruit in an empty stomach.
 
The fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas and hence you will bloat! Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, dark circles under the eyes all these will not happen if you take fruits in an empty stomach. It is incorrectly presumed hat some fruits like orange and lemon are acidic and will enhance acidity in the stomach. 

Research however shows that all fruits become alkaline in our body. When you need to drink fruit juice – drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT from the cans. Don't drink juice that has been heated up.   Don't eat cooked fruits because you don't get the nutrients at all. You only get to taste. So stop making 'durian porridge' if you want nutrients. Cooking fruit destroys all the vitamins.  

Eating the pulp or whole fruit is far better than drinking the juice as the fibre is good for you. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it. A 3-day “fruit fast” is a very simple and effective way to cleanse and de-toxify your body. Just eat fruits and drink fruit juice throughout the 3 days and you will be surprised when your friends tell you how radiant you look !

During the “fruit fast” you can eat different fruits at different times, although occasionally mixed fruit salad would also be permissible and  more interesting.


If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruits, you have the secret of beauty, longevity, health, energy, happiness and normal weight.

* Please Consult your Medical Practitioner b4 following. These email is for information and general guidelines not prescription.

Beauty of Math!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
 
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321

Real & Unreal pictures


Friday, November 20, 2009

Terrafugia



Terrafugia has completed flight testing of the Transition POC (Proof of Concept). Introducing the Transition®. Simply land at the airport, fold your wings up and drive home.


Fly a distance of 725 kilometers at speeds of 115 km/hour;
requires a special license to drive and fly. The time required for the transition from plane to car takes less than 30 seconds.

 Vehicle speed 185 km/hour, range is 724 km on highways
Vehicle is fueled with gasoline, and the price of the car is expected

 to be around $200,000. The first shipment will be in 2011
[source internet mail]

S.H.I.T


Manure:  In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before the invention of commercial fertilizer, so large shipments of manure were common..

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!


Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.


Thus evolved the term " S.H.I.T " , (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true origins of the word. Neither did I.