Some Great Laws

Jone's Motto:
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

* Terman's Law of Innovation:
If you want a team to win the high jump, you find one person who can jump seven feet, not seven people who can jump one foot each.

* O'brien's Variation:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

* Conway's Law:
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

* The Peter Principle:
In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.

* H.L.Mencken's Law:
Those who can, do. Those who cannot teach.

* Martin's Extension:
Those who can't teach, administer

* Belani's Extrapolation:
Those who cannot even administer, become consultants.

* Lieberman's Law:
Everbody lies; but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

* Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

* Van Herpen's Law:
The solving of the problem lies in finding the solvers.

* Murphy's Law of Government:
If anything can go wrong, it will do so in triplicate.

* Bell's Theorem:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

* Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

* Young's Law:
Great discoveries are made by mistake.

* Kin Hubbard:
A good listener is usually thinking about something else

* One Anonymous Great Seer's Law :
Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position

* Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

* Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

* Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

* Cannon's Karmic Law:
If you use the excuse that you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will actually have a flat tire.

* O'brien's Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

* Bell's Theorem:
As soon as the body is immersed fully in the bathtub, the telephone will ring.

* Rubys Principle of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are in a situation where you do not want to be seen by anybody.

* Willoughby's Law:
When you try to prove to the repairman that a machine doesn't work, it will.

* Zadra's Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reachability of the area.

* Breda's Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

* Owen's Law:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

* Wooly's law:
When you are working late, the boss will never be around. When you are surfing the net the boss will always drop by.